Buying gifts can be an easy way out. It can provide temporary happiness or a short term repair to a relationship. It can be a fast way to pretend you care or are a nice person. Maybe you are being dutiful, or maybe you want to look good to others, or maybe you think you are getting a gift so you just feel obligated to give one too. It is possible that you are gifting out of true love and unconditional sweetness, and if that's the case then that is awesome.
What I have noticed in my own life is that people want to be:
- seen
- truly heard
- understood
- felt for
- and forgiven
We are all human and we all make mistakes. To me, love and compassion as well as releasing past transgressions (real or imagined) can be the finest gift of all. To look lovingly at your loved ones, and to be completely present is the biggest present!
So, this holiday season, take a shot at FORgiving as well as giving!
And while you are at it, perhaps try on forgiving yourself too!
This decade, the forties, have definitely been the best of my life. There are so many things that I learned, about myself and others that are now serving me.
My youth and teenage years are a complete blur. I moved from America to England practically every year, going to 10+ schools.
In my twenties I moulded to others needs and desires so that I would be liked. I agreed with everyone around me as to how or what to do and became pray to bullies and dominators.
In my thirties I went all the way the other side! I was overly self expressed and pushy. It was my way or the highway for most of those years. I had no ability to understand another's point of view.
When I turned 40, not only do I know my own opinion, but I also realise that someone else's polar opposite opinion can also be just as valid, from the context they are standing on. That I get to choose whom I spend my time with and who I delete from my life. That as long as my preferences are being actualised from a place of deep knowing and not from fear or external persuasion, that I can choose whatever I want for myself.
Now, I look younger, am happier and sweeter for sure! Since I have been living "in the flow" from my "knowing" - life is abundant and fun. And the more quiet time I allow in my life (meditating, walking in nature or journalling), the deeper I hear my internal voice.
