News or Gossip?

Yesterday at a Super Bowl party - a woman shared a rumor that she heard about me.  It was very distressing for me to hear it.  And it was completely untrue.

I felt a little blue today - pondering the reason behind the gossip - and also why this person decided to share it with me?  What were her motivations?

And then I looked back at other interactions that I've had with her.  And I determined that her words and actions have leaned towards jealousy and negativity around me.  That explains why she would say something so hurtful to me.  

But she's not a liar - so where did this information stem from?

I then looked at the source of that.  The people that were involved are middle aged drinkers.  Bar peeps.  They get obliterated at least once a week.  And all sorts of odd things happen after they are over served by the eager bartender. So it was meaningless.  It held no weight.  There was nothing more to do there.

And finally I looked at myself.  Where do I gossip versus just being informing of news?  The distinction is when I open my mouth to share information - is it to help - or to hurt?  Am I putting someone else down in an attempt to elevate myself?  If so - then how about looking AT THAT instead of hurting others?  

And so with this new insight - it's time to make some amends.  To own up to the victims of my meanness - apologize - and then forgive myself and move on.

And finally stop gossiping.  It's hurtful.  It hurts my Sisters and Brothers.  And it hurts me too.  Because we are all ONE.

At the end of the day when I rest my head to sleep I want to be clear of conscious with peace of mind.

Time to open my heart and LOVE more.

Push yourself for the better!!!

I remember the first time I ever played tennis.  I was 195 lbs and very unhappily married.  As a way to lose weight at the age of 35 I took up tennis.

Every night after playing I would cry as I bathed.  It was frustrating that I could not hit the ball in court.  That I was so heavy that I had trouble running.  That I got out of breath in points.  That I consistently lists. That I had aches and pains all over.

But I am so glad that I pushed through.  Tennis gave me:

- my BEST friends

- my new healthy body 143 lbs

- stamina

- a reason to quit smoking

- a fun hobby

- the gift of presence 

- my new amazing husband (and his incredible loving family)

- enough fun to write an inspirational tennis booked called "I ❤️ MY DOUBLES PARTNER!!!" 

Yes - I could have stayed fat, unhealthy and miserable - it would have been easier to continue watching 6 hours of TV a night with my ex husband and eating crisps.  But I am SO GLAD that I stepped outside of my box and made this great effort - because I WAS WORTH IT!!!

Want to fall asleep easier?

I saw this illustration on Facebook today and I remembered that I used to have a problem falling asleep!!!  My mind would go crazy thinking about the past or the future.  Just as I got to bed it would begin, the fear or stories, and then I would get upset at it and fight it, which in turn worsened it.

Actually, my whole day used to be ruined by my very loud internal chatter.  Everyone I met was either a friend or an enemy- and I felt a hurried need to decide which they were.  Every experience was analysed to determine if it was good and bad.  It was exhausting. Right or wrong.  Black or white.

The beginning of my mind taming was meditation.  Having daily quiet time where I could hear my thoughts clearly was the first step.  Then I began journalling free form.  And finally I used this information to discern my commitment to BLiSS and I learned to redirect my thoughts to ones that served my happiness!!! 

As my thoughts improved so did my words and actions which led to increased self love and confidence which resulted in an inside out joy that I was looking for.

And as I increased this state - the bullies and unkind people and negative experiences seemed to float away from me.  It was replaced with kind, generous and unconditionally loving people and lucky and fun experiences.  This is not a coincidence- this is by my design.

You see - this is MY life and I own it fully!!!