I can't remember who said it first, but for years now we have been hearing about the opinion that what you focus on expands. I didn't really understand it when I first heard it. In fact, it's safe to say that I completely dismissed it as absolute rubbish.
Let's use an example from the tennis court (a place that I learn a lot of my life lessons). If you are playing with a partner that SUCKS - then how can what I focus on change that? Um....it most certainly does!!!
I am in the process of writing a book called, "I ❤️ MY DOUBLES PARTNER!!!”, an inspirational book where I name 73 partners that I have played with over the past 5 years. It is an inspirational book for sure. What I realised is that I often WON TENNIS matches with these people because of the appreciation that I had for their game. My ability to FOCUS ON THEIR QUALITIES actually positively affected their game!!! Yes - it's true.
And it's the same the other way around too - when I play with a partner that THINKS I AM AWESOME - we rarely lose. But as soon as I see the frustration or disappointment in my partner's body language - I freeze up - I can't hit a ball in the court. Nothing even has to be said - it is blatantly obvious when I am playing with someone that respects my game versus someone that is trying to "fix" me. In fact - the best way to make me play better is to LOVE the way I play! Positively reinforce my good shots. Notice my efforts. Know that I too am trying to win!!!
It's also the same in all other areas of life too. From your career to your love life - if you direct your attention to the good (at work or with your spouse for instance) then you will be happier and kinder which in turn will turn into success and BLiSS.
So if you hear your mental chatter being negative, or if you find yourself gossiping, take control of yourself - and return to LOVE. It is the only place to have a pleasurable and peaceful existence.