Maybe you don't have all the information?

Have you ever been behind a car and getting impatient, maybe even honking at them, and then been embarrassed because there was someone crossing in front of them that you didn't see?

Or have you ever quickly judged the behavior of a stranger as rude, not knowing that actually they were aloof because of a life circumstance that had them in deep grieving?

Have you argued with a friend not realizing that they were doing something for you out of love and concern?
How about before jumping to conclusions, or getting angry, or disappointed, you have an open mind and try to see from another's point of view?  Maybe even making a preposterous story that would excuse the annoying behavior?

Recently I played singles against a Woman who - after losing 6-1 6-2 against me - made some very rude comments.  I had options:

1.  I could attack her back (this used to be my favorite option)

2.  I could just ignore her but tell everyone about it later (gossiping)

3.  I could ask her why she is speaking to me like that (and get bullied some more)

4.  Or - and this takes work - I could really feel immense love for her - not sympathy but empathy!

In order to be able to stay centered and kind to a bully, I have to go deep and realize that what she is saying to me is not true and I am loved.  And then-

1.  I move into extreme empathy by trying to imagine that these actions right now are not how she really feels about me, but a reflection of how she actually feels about herself.

2.  I forgive myself for the times that I have maybe behaved in the same way. 

3.  I look for the gift in the situation - what can I learn from this exchange?

4.  I release the negative energy by sending love her way.

This practice used to take weeks, and then days, and now it can just minutes!  When I release judgment on how others "should" treat me - and focus on being the best Woman that I can be - life is so much happier.  And for me, being a good human involves:

1.  Loving all parts of myself deeply.

2.  Surrender and allow where possible.

3.  Do what I need to do for success and happiness.

4.  Be kind and gentle with myself and others.

5.  Use experiences to expand and open further!

6.  Be generous with my empathy, time, love and knowledge.

Cheers to self love and loving all other beings too!

Who crowned me?

Why is this blog called Queen Adeline?  Am I just pompous?  Or feel above my fellow human?

No.  On September 15th, 2013 I turned 40 years old, and on that day I crowned myself Queen Adeline and bought this beautiful ring for myself.

I realized for the first time in my life, that I am whole and complete!  I didn't need another person to "complete me".  I was not half of a circle looking for my other half.  Nor was I Yin looking for Yang! 

I am both Masculine and Feminine.

In that moment I had an awakened moment.  I accepted all that had happened and surrendered to what was coming.  I was able to be present and curious.  I was accepting and allowing. 

My birthday party was incredible!  130+ friends on the rooftop if Beverly Hills with perfect weather and my favorite live singer Laila at the mic.  But much much deeper than the pretty dresses and honoring evening - I made the determination that not only am I completely responsible for myself, but I am also 100% capable of handling my life.

That fear was not real.  That regret was destructive.  That there was no controlling or predicting life.  That all that happened was always perfect.

So I crowned myself - because this life and my experience of it is my domain, my kingdom.  Only I rule how I feel.

So there a new connection was formed between the physical and human Adeline (ego) and the formless soul - Queen Adeline (egoless).  And I love them both deeply.  But the Queen rules this kingdom.

Generosity to Improve Mental Attitude

Every morning when I get up I brush my teeth and look in the mirror.  I often have inspirational statements that I have written on there but in addition to reading them I also look at my face in the mirror. 

This is what I see:

In that moment - I get to choose how I feel about my looks.  It is not definitive it is completely subjective.  I set the context of my interpretations of my face and my mind follows those.

A negative context may sound like, "Oh!  Look at those lines around my eyes and my lips!  I have sun spots!  My teeth are yellow!  I look old and tired!"  And then I will study my face to gather evidence to prove myself right.  I will use these negative filters to translate my experience into a depressing nature and what an awful way to start the day!

What, instead, I choose to do is to focus on the positive attributes of my face.  "Oh look at my pretty big brown eyes!  My soft skin!  My vibrant smile!  My beautiful dark hair!  I am so lucky to be alive and be able to see this morning!"  These affirmations set the stage for the rest of the day.  I stand a little taller and laugh a little deeper.

Being happy and joyful is a practice - not an accident.  You have 100% power and responsibility for your daily life and pleasure.

You are the director of your own life experience.  If you want a positive, exciting and fun life, and you can't figure out how to do it, contact me for more information on my coaching practice.

Together we design your life and once those intentions are set, with my guidance, you stay accountable for the actions to take and the kindness and softness to receive to keep you enjoying the journey with a feeling of surrender and not attachment to the results.

Today, try to look at the good that exists around you.  

Smell a beautiful flower.  

Devour a sweet CHOCbite.  

Revel at the warmth and beauty of the sun.  

Touch a soft fabric.  

Listen to a song that lifts your mood.

Because if you are breathing - then you are already very lucky!