Finding the middle.

This decade, the forties, have definitely been the best of my life.  There are so many things that I learned, about myself and others that are now serving me.

My youth and teenage years are a complete blur.  I moved from America to England practically every year, going to 10+ schools.

In my twenties I moulded to others needs and desires so that I would be liked.  I agreed with everyone around me as to how or what to do and became pray to bullies and dominators.  

In my thirties I went all the way the other side!  I was overly self expressed and pushy.  It was my way or the highway for most of those years.  I had no ability to understand another's point of view.

When I turned 40, not only do I know my own opinion, but I also realise that someone else's polar opposite opinion can also be just as valid, from the context they are standing on.  That I get to choose whom I spend my time with and who I delete from my life.  That as long as my preferences are being actualised from a place of deep knowing and not from fear or external persuasion, that I can choose whatever I want for myself.  

Now, I look younger, am happier and sweeter for sure!  Since I have been living "in the flow" from my "knowing" - life is abundant and fun.  And the more quiet time I allow in my life (meditating, walking in nature or journalling), the deeper I hear my internal voice.