Wednesday, September 30, 2015

How did I release 50 lbs???

It definitely was a process that helped me drop the weight.  But the combination of all listed below - not only did I get back to my original weight, but I also felt happy too.  After all - the eating was an emotional reaction to a bland life.

Take pieces of this, all of this, or add to this - whatever feels right for YOU.  

- Listened to my inner knowing instead of peer pressure, stress decision making, being impulsive, doing what I think I "should" or making fear based decisions.

- Self love forgiving myself for past mistakes.

- At peace with life accepting it the way it currently is.

- Worked towards my goals, I didn't just set intentions, I made an action plan and followed through with it!

- Lived with integrity, no more lying to myself or others - about anything!

- Released relationships that made me feel bad no matter who they were - this was a tough one for me because I had it that I "should" put up with family that were toxic to me.

- Meditated most days, the biggest gift that I have ever given myself.  A chance to recharge my energy AND be in charge of my mind.

- Made decisions from a place of feeling and gut instinct instead of thinking and rationalizing.  

- Found a sport (exercise) that I loved to do so it didn't feel like hard work to move my body and get fresh air.  This also took a lot of failures before I found what I loved.

- Started businesses that used my creativity and left the corporate commercial banking nightmare job.  Money became less important and happiness more.

- Listened to sage teachers that resonated with me.  People like Tolle, Chopra, Buddha and many others.

- Stopped watching TV, or news - this probably made the BIGGEST single difference.  My time is instead spent with loved ones, playing tennis, reading interesting books or relaxing in HEALTHY ways!

- Learned to let go of past hurts - read an amazing book called Radical Forgiveness that taught me that it's actually a GIFT if you look at it the right way.

- Increased my volunteer work - this was a huge one for me, as giving brings happiness.

- Writing a daily journal with a nonjudgmental stream on consciousness so that I noticed what stories were playing in the background.

- List 10 things I am grateful for every day which kept me focused on all of my blessings versus the "Woe is me" trap that I was slipping into!

- and finally I made a commitment to BliSS knowing that I have a choice at any moment to be happy, kind, peaceful, generous and grateful - and choose it!

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

A Higher State.

It's important to stay out of fear if you want to stay in BLiSS. I used to spend a lot of time worrying about things. Now - sometimes - I can control my mind and stop the worry and sometimes I can't. But I have a strategy.

If I am having any anxieties that I want to stop - I ask myself a series of questions:

1.  Is it really true?  Or am I creating the thought in my own illusion?
2.  It is a useful thought?  Does it help me further my life?
3.  Does it make me feel good thinking that thought?
4.  Are the thoughts kind to myself?  And to others?
5.  Do I want my attention on this subject matter?  What I focus on expands!
6.  Does it serve my commitment to happiness?

And then there are things that DO need my attention that are scary.  When I have worries that I can't stop with wrangling my thoughts - then I have to take action. Here is an example:

I am not very technically inclined. And I used my computer every day, all day long, from home. I rely on my internet access and laptop for my income and communicating with my loved ones too. I store important information on it that needs to be safe and secure too. 

My husband is very savvy in this arena, but do I really want him coming home and having him to deal with my computer issues? No I do not. I would rather spend that time having quality conversations with him!!!  

So - I have a service that protects me.  They keep the spam off. They keep my computers secure. They help when something goes wrong. And most importantly they keep me ONLINE!  They are called - "Higher State Technology". A virtual IT company that saves me worrying about my computers functioning efficiently and effectively.

Ask yourself this:  I am worried.  Can I do something about it?  If no - then stop worrying.  If yes - then DO SOMETHING about it - and then STOP WORRYING.

If you want to stay in BLiSS and are having anguish about any subject matter - take my test and see if there truly is something that you can do about it - if not then LET IT GO!!! Thank your mind for the concern and release it.  Be free.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Zen neutrality.

In an ideal world - I would be able to be present at all times just like Eckhart Tolle. In reality - I haven't mastered the ability to completely flow with "what is". I still see myself disappointed - because I was attached to an expectation or outcome. I can feel fear and anger - things that you are freed of once you reach his level of spirituality.  

What I know for sure is that BLiSS only exists in a place of mystical and peaceful presence. Ecstasy can only be accessed in the here and now. True sustained happiness can only be achieved with a grateful love affair with what already is.

As soon as judgment and what "should be" creep into my life - I can feel hurt and resentful.  

But alas - I am Adeline - and not Eckhart - so it does happen.  As with any practice - I am improving.  I am noticing when I flare up and sometimes I am actually able to return to presence.

But what about "toxic" people - that is not "bad" people - but people that pull me off my path.  Well - I have made a decision:

For now - I will remove them from my life.

I know - this doesn't sound very BLiSSful does it? Just "dump" people because they aren't optimistic and elevating? Well - I have given this a great deal of thought - and, yes, for me at this time - this is the course that resonates. It's not that I don't love them. They are fine people. But right now - I just don't have the tools and strength in the BLiSS department to handle their way of being.

Here is the best analogy I can come up with: in 2006 I quit smoking - cold turkey. It was a difficult thing to do but I was committed to it. Unfortunately - at that time I had a lot of friends that smoked and I wasn't yet strong enough to be able to spend time with them. I had to put space between myself and smokers to give myself a chance to overcome my pack a day habit. And so it was - it took a year - but I no longer missed my dear  ciggies (Marlborough Lights) - and I never smoked again.

It's okay to need a break from people that are not aligned with you path. They will be freed to find people vibrating at their level who will have much more compassion for them.

As I write this - I know that I don't have patience for people who enjoy unhappiness. I can't be around complainers or ungrateful people. I don't want to spend even a moment with people who's primary emotion is fear of the future or bitterness for the past.

Right now - I am going to take care of myself and surround myself with people working on choosing love, humility, gratitude, optimism, laughter, peace, equanimity and BLiSS as their primary experiences.

And those that don't want to be happy - bye bye (at least for now).

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Crown yourself.

There are so many Gurus out there.  You can find "experts" on "how to do" just about anything.  And it's definitely okay to get information - but don't let anyone else "rule" your life - other than you.

You are the King or Queen of your happiness.  Take responsibility for it.  Only you can truly decipher which decisions are the course to take. 

Consider that there is no true "right" or "wrong" decision - so just pick the path that resonates with your soul and embrace the lessons that follow. And know that other than death - there are no permanent events - so your mind can be changed.

BLiSS exists when your inner desires and passions are aligned with your external actions.  It is important however to not be attached to the results and outcomes of your actions.  Just to live in a way that you are truly enjoying your journey.

As always - I like to use a current example of my life.  Today I am at the local DMV office to change my legal name to "Cook" my married name.  I have many choices in how I behave here.  I could cross my arms over my chest and frown at the 1+ hour wait.  Be annoyed.  Sigh and give dirty looks to the employees.  Allow my mind to say, "See how terrible the government is!!!"  Or - instead - I could marvel at all of the people's different clothing choices.  Feel grateful that I have a car.  Offer my neighbor a sweetie.  Practice patience and being in flow with life.  Send loving vibes to the staff.  And smile at the cute puppy.

You see - I will be here for over an hour either way - but HOW I choose to spend my time here is all up to me.

And - I - Queen Adeline (now Cook) am the ultimate ruler of my own thoughts and actions - choose to smile, be peaceful, be kind, be generous, be present and be BLiSS.

Pleased or annoyed it's my choice.

This is a I live in Los Angeles - a place with loads of traffic - however I don't experience it that way.  My apartment is directly across the street from Whole Foods grocery store and very close to shops and restaurants - I rarely drive my car.

One day last week - I was going to drive to downtown to buy some gems for my jewelry clients and I decided to call Uber.

This is a very useful car service that arrives within 3 minutes and charges way less than a taxi.  Parking is very expensive in downtown - so being driven makes financial and convenient sense.

I had always had great luck with the drivers.  In fact - I have a new great friend that came from taking an Uber.

But on this day the lady driving was completely silent.  She was almost rude!  I made one stop and then we were off to downtown.  I was beginning to contemplate the dilemma of how many stars I was going to rate this woman with after the drive was over?  

She seemed very frustrated and angry.  I was not enjoying this ride.

And in that moment - I decided to be BLiSS even though I wasn't "feeling" happy.  I chose to be positive and generous instead of scouling back.

I had some CHOCbite in my purse (my chocolate company) so I said, "Excuse me - would you like a piece of chocolate?  I have dark, milk or white!"

She look back at me and grabbed her face with her hand and said, "Oh no thank you - I have really bad tooth ache!"

Wow - there I was getting aggravated by the drivers lack of "kindness" or "attention" when she was sitting there in grave pain trying to earn a living.

My heart opened up with compassion for this woman.  And I gave her 5 stars.

Monday, September 14, 2015

Leading A Life of BLiSS.

An attitude of gratitude is very important.  Being thankful for what is here and now needs presence and open heartedness.  Tomorrow I am turning 42 years old.  Here are some things that I am VERY thankful for:

1.  I have incredible friends and family members.  I am loved beyond belief.  These people are kind, generous, compassionate, thoughtful, grateful, smart, contributive, peaceful and HAPPY.  

2.  I weigh 145 lbs.  This is a healthy feeling weight for my 5'6" frame.  I have tons of energy.  I feel and look SEXY.

3.  I live in America.  Southern California.  Beverly Hills.  The weather is perfect every day.  People on the street smile at each other.  It's beautiful.  I walk to the grocery store (Whole Foods).  It's luxury.  Truly heaven on Earth (for me).

4.  I am married to the most unconditionally loving, intelligent and funny person that I have ever met.  He is beautiful inside and out.  And we have so much fun.  And there is so much love between us.  My heart is overflowing.

5.  We have NO DEBT.  No car debt.  No credit card debt.  No mortgage (because we rent).  No student loans.  It's AWESOME.

And perhaps someone might look at these and say, "Well - of course you are happy - I would be too if I had YOUR life!!!"

But this life is of MY CREATION.  Look at my life just 5 years ago:

1.  My friends were mostly people who drank a lot or did drugs.  Or shopped constantly.  Or watched TV all the time.  Or were highly reactive to small situations.  Or were very unforgiving.  Or were very ungrateful for their blessings.  They weren't LIVING - they were just surviving.  And the family members that I was choosing to spend time with were the problem ones too.  They caused great pain - as it was tough for me to see their cheating and destructive ways.  They had a huge lack of awareness and kindness.  

2.  My weight was 195 lbs.  A full 50 lbs heavier than I am now.  

3.  I was living in Austin, Texas - far away from my wonderful Aunt, Uncle, cousins and Grandma.  The weather was either too hot or too cold for me.  And the BUGS ugh!  It just wasn't "home" for me.  Yeah - it's much cheaper to live there for sure - but for me - I would rather have a MUCH smaller quality luxurious pad than a huge rubbish one miles away from a grocery store.

4.  I was married to a man who decided to start partying hard  - after I had two ectopic pregnancies (the second one on Valentines Day 2010 rendering me unable to have babies) and lost my big corporate job.  After meeting some more "fun" people at a pub in Austin at the Holland (he's Dutch) vs Brazil football game - he started going clubbing until late hours coming home wasted at 4am.  He left me in August of that year (right after getting his American passport sponsored through me) and started dating the young Brazilian fun girl.

5.  My (ex) husband and I had TONS of debt.  Houses.  Credit Cards.  Cars (he needed to change cars often for some reason - and don't get me started about buying new tires every three or four months)!!.  And even though I didn't have a job (and he didn't earn enough to pay the mortgage and bills) - he was still going out and spending money on drinks and dinners out.  Flying home business class to visit his Mum.  It was awful.  He left me in that big house to pay the mortgage on unemployment!!!  He even sent me bills for some programming he did for my web site.  

Yup.  This was all just 5 years ago.  

So - my life now is through a deep commitment to BLiSS.  I learned to meditate to clear my head.  With my new awareness I made more conscious decisions around who I spend my time with, what I eat, how I spend (no more impulse spending), how I treat my husband and what my life looks like.  I make my bed every morning.  I cook every day.  I write letters and thank you cards to people.  I tithe with my money and my time.  I learn and grow.  I feed my soul spiritually.  I apologise to myself or others when I screw up.  I get back on my happiness plan almost immediately.

Whatever happiness looks like to you - go for it.  Start putting your goals together, take action towards them and you will achieve them.  But make your goals heart centred, not frivolous.  And make sure that they are YOUR goals and not those of your peers, family or a designers marketing department. 

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Focus on what you want - not what you don't.

I can't remember who said it first, but for years now we have been hearing about the opinion that what you focus on expands.  I didn't really understand it when I first heard it.  In fact, it's safe to say that I completely dismissed it as absolute rubbish.  

Let's use an example from the tennis court (a place that I learn a lot of my life lessons).  If you are playing with a partner that SUCKS - then how can what I focus on change that? most certainly does!!!  

I am in the process of writing a book called,  "I ❤️ MY DOUBLES PARTNER!!!”, an inspirational book where I name 73 partners that I have played with over the past 5 years.  It is an inspirational book for sure.  What I realised is that I often WON TENNIS matches with these people because of the appreciation that I had for their game.  My ability to FOCUS ON THEIR QUALITIES actually positively affected their game!!!  Yes - it's true.  

And it's the same the other way around too - when I play with a partner that THINKS I AM AWESOME - we rarely lose.  But as soon as I see the frustration or disappointment in my partner's body language - I freeze up - I can't hit a ball in the court.  Nothing even has to be said - it is blatantly obvious when I am playing with someone that respects my game versus someone that is trying to "fix" me.  In fact - the best way to make me play better is to LOVE the way I play!  Positively reinforce my good shots.  Notice my efforts.  Know that I too am trying to win!!!

It's also the same in all other areas of life too.  From your career to your love life - if you direct your attention to the good (at work or with your spouse for instance) then you will be happier and kinder which in turn will turn into success and BLiSS.

So if you hear your mental chatter being negative, or if you find yourself gossiping, take control of yourself - and return to LOVE.  It is the only place to have a pleasurable and peaceful existence.


Monday, September 7, 2015

Kind Thoughts Are Imperative To BLiSS

When I was much younger - in my teens - I would get upset with someone that hurt me, and I would "pay them back" by punishing them.

In my twenties I learned that reacting was not the appropriate way to handle these bad thoughts.  That hurting people ended up actually destroying my happiness so I didn't act out on my disappointments.

In my early thirties though - I still was not happy.  I wasn't misbehaving but the disconnects from my thoughts and actions were not great for my state of mind.  I wasn't being authentic.

But what was I to do?  I need to protect my psyche but running around town shouting at people was not an option.  And then - it hit me - I could actually CHANGE MY MIND!!!

I didn't have to get mad.  I didn't have to be disappointed.   I didn't have to judge. I didn't have to be unkind.

I am the writer, director and producer of my own thoughts.  So I could think kind, peaceful and compassionate thoughts and then align my actions with THOSe thoughts - authentically!

Phew - life has been much better since this revelation.  

(White Gold Ananda BLiSS by Adeline Hand Jewel with Black Diamond)

BLiSS tip:  next time you get mad at a car pulling out in front of you - giggle and forgive them immediately!!!

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Your Divinity Is Inside!!!

There were years of my life that I spent chasing happiness.  Looking for love in all the wrong places (people that had none to give).  Shopping to fill a hole.  Drinking to avoid thinking.  Numbing with non stop television watching.  Constantly changing cars, homes and jobs to keep myself so busy that I didn't have to analyze or be accountable for my choices, actions and behaviors.  Time went very quickly.  I was always "reacting" to circumstances.  I often played the blame game - telling anyone that would listen of my unstable and abusive childhood.  It was a whirlwind of rushing and missing out on the true essence of living.

In my 39th year on this planet, I had been divorced for 4 years, I was broke, I didn't have a job and my hopes of having a natural family were shattered when I had two ectopic pregnancies while married which led to my inability to be pregnancy again. Yes - I was BLiSSfully happy!  Ecstatic to be alive.  Healthy.  Breathing.  Lovable.  Living in America.  

Bizarrely at this time I started tasting food more intensely.  My eyes saw colors more brightly.  My heart overflowed with love for my family, my friends AND people who had wronged or hurt me in the past. I was able to beyond forgiveness to DEEP GRATITUDE for all that had preceded.  It was amazing!

And now - 3 years later - I am still mostly there.  I do have moments when I don't feel peaceful - but they are further and further apart.

In this new state I attracted my true soul mate.  The real love of my life.  A man that was whole and complete before he met me.  A compassionate, generous, loving and kind spiritual man.

And so it is.  BLiSS attracts BLiSS.

I highly recommend meditation, good eating, volunteering, gratitude and most of all CHOOSING to look for the good in all things, people and places!