Saturday, November 16, 2013

Friends + Family : Generosity

How do we apply generosity in our relationships? 

Not through forgiveness.  Or acceptance.  But finding a way to LOVE (even if you are disappointed, hurt, angry, fearful, tired, disrespected, pained).

Two days ago I was having a heated text conversation with a friend (always bad to text in those situations).  She was getting angry and I was getting frustrated too.  She didn't feel heard.  She felt like I didn't care about her predicament.  I felt she let me down.  That she wasn't willing to compromise.  It was as if we were speaking two different languages.  I wasn't understanding her pain and she wasn't feeling my fear.

Just as I was about to blow my top and call her and give her a piece of my mind - I took a few breaths.  Here is the  mantra that I repeated while breathing deeply;

"Love in, anger out, love in, anger out, love in, anger out, love in, anger out, love in, anger out, love in, anger out, love in, anger out."

As I breathed in I thought of all if the beautiful things about her.  She is so sweet.  So talented.  So loving.  So kind.  So generous.  A good mother.  A good friend.  Her sexy voice and beautiful skin.

I called her and apologized for having this conversation over text message.  And then I asked her what was going on in her life.  As she explained, my heart poured open allowing myself to feel her current anxiety.  I could clearing see how my demands felt cold and selfish.

I clearly communicates my deep empathy and validated her point of view - authentically!

We came to a solution and I feel more connected to her now than I did before this experience.

Generosity in relationships is a funny thing, it always comes back to bond you!!!  What can you do in your relationships to add love?

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