Getting back to NOW!

BLiSS TiP: 

Which one of your 5 senses gets you MOST present?  Which one can cut through all of your streaming thoughts and being you back here?  Mine is SMELL.  It is the one physical sense that I value the most.  And knowing which one gives me the tool of accessing it when I need calm.  If I am having trouble quietening my mind - all I have to do is grab something that awakens my nose and I can return to the now.  Here are some things that I use:

- hot tea

- chocolate (I own CHOCbite.com)

- perfume

- orange peel

- rose body cream

If I am at a dinner and someone is being rude and I am getting agitated - you will see me smelling my fingers - to help me know that all is well.

Pay attention to your personal and individual needs so that you can be ready to respond in a conscious way to triggers that take you of course of happiness!!

Tea time.

When I began journaling, meditating and spending relaxed time with nature, I realized that the thoughts in my head were very negative indeed.  I had a lot of fear, jealousy, anxiety and horrible self talk too.  No wonder I was overweight, unhappy and lethargic!!!   

The first step for me was noticing the thoughts.  Just imagining that I was sitting on a couch and watching the thoughts pass by on a TV screen.

Next was disassociating from the thoughts themselves.  Knowing that those thoughts are just there and I don't have to "feel" them in my body.  They could just float by like they are on clouds.

And finally I became accustomed to redirecting the thoughts to positive ones.

This was a fun exercise and the more I practiced it the better I got at it.  I love knowing that I have this power.

Then came times when I was really low, scared or angry - for those times I needed different tools.  One of the amazing ones that I found was the H'opo'ono prayer.  It is just four statements - repeated in any order you choose - and it goes like this:

I am sorry.

I forgive you.

Thank you.

I love you.

I realized that anything other than LOVE, FUN, COMPASSION and BLISS is not real for me - but sometimes I disconnect and get deluded.  So in order to return to my true divine state - I make myself a beautiful pot of tea - and I say this prayer while taking slow deep breaths and inhaling the aroma of my tea.

For me - total bodily presence is pure ecstasy- and the reason that we are here - to be as human as possible without shields or protection.  All is well.

Our thoughts are immensely powerful!!!

Today I woke up feeling great.  I have been a little ill the last two days and the contrast of waking up feeling healthy made me excited to be alive!!!  And today when I looked in the mirror I thought - "you look good!!!"  

And that thought is SO powerful.  Just because of that ONE thought:

- I have a spring in my step

- I have a smile on my face

- I dressed in a cute outfit

- I put perfume on

- I have a happy tone in my voice

- I put some makeup on

- I am standing tall

- I am swinging my hips when I walk

- I feel HAPPY!!!

And you know what?  All of these things that I did because I THOUGHT that I look cute today......MADE me look cute today!!!

Pay attention to your inner chatter...it truly rules your experience of life!!!

My happiness - my choice.

My husband and I were playing tennis at Riviera Country Club on Friday night with a networking group.  It was really fun.  We first play tennis and then go to dinner at the private dining area all together.

After the tennis - one of the men asked if Robert was my son!!!  (He is two years older than me).  Anyway - I calmly said, "no he is my husband."  I didn't think anything of it at all.  There wasn't any getting upset, or being outraged or feeling bad.  Why?  Because I feel sexy and young looking!!!  I didn't make his words mean that I look old and haggard. There was no element of my thoughts that attached to his words.  

There have been other times when someone said something that really upset me.  The difference now is that I notice when I am having "charged feelings" and I get to CHOOSE to feel differently.  My feelings are DIRECTED BY ME!!!  At any moment - if I wish to - I get to rewrite the script that is playing in my head.  It's awesome.

So more and more I am writing comedy screenplays for my life - and less drama and action.

This is how I keep my life sweet!  (Well - AND I happen to be a chocolatier too).  Take a look at www.CHOCbite.com 

(Pictured here 74% CHOCdark with Himalayan Pink Salt and Natural Marshmallows)

Have a blissful day - because you can!!!

Attention To Details.

I take pride in keeping my environmental pretty, clean and organized.  I have noticed what a big difference this makes to my happiness level.  If my space is tidy, the right temperature and bright - I am energized and eager for the day ahead.

The same goes for my car!!!  If it is polished, clean and well functioning with good CDs in the system - driving is FUN!!!

And also with my food and eating habits. I pay close attention to which foods uplift me physically and emotionally.  When I serve any meal - however simple it is - I give thanks with a small blessing and make the plate very appetizing visually.  Here is a celery and chicken stew that I cooked yesterday!!!

My 7 chakra BLiSS by Adeline piece is always a reminder to stay aligned and connected to my joy at all times!  It is a choice after all!!!

To your health and happiness!!!

A system for BLiSS.

Do you want to be happier?  The absolute FIRST STEP is to LOVE YOURSELF MORE.  Whatever it takes.........you have to learn to forgive yourself for past transgressions and fall madly, deeply and utterly in LOVE WITH YOURSELF IN EVERY WAY.

When I was younger, I didn't like myself much.  I believed the bullies and family members that said that I was ugly, fat or "the devils child" (yes, really, that's what I was called - product of a divorced family where the Mother and Father HATED each other).  I allowed other people's opinions of me to dictate how I felt about myself.  When I was told that I wasn't smart - I took that role on and played stupid.  This went on until around my mid twenties.  

The turning point was that I realized that I had been financially supporting myself since I was 17 years old.  That I had built a successful construction company of my own hard work (nothing handed to me) - that I had bought my own cars, clothes, food, shelter - all with no concern from any family members. I realized that - even thought I wasn't perfect - I had been a generally good person.  

The next ten years were my biggest growth spurt.  I started reading books to help me improve as a person.  I attended seminars. I stopped smoking.  I picked up a healthy sport (tennis).  I paid off all debt.  I started saving.  I started volunteering.  I surrounded myself with good loving people.  I started conscious companies (like www.ARTSYer.com).  I treated my staff well.  I adopted shelter dogs.  I got fit and lost 50lbs (take a look at that www.chocbiteexperience.com).  I made amends for past mistakes. I forgave the abuse of my childhood.  I learned to quiet my mind and become more humble (I am still working on this one!!!)  I cleaned up my eating habits.  

And every day, ever so slightly, as I improved my actions one by one, I developed more and more self love and happiness - from the INSIDE OUT.  Why is this important?  I believe that you can NOT love another person - let alone the world - unless you first completely LOVE YOURSELF.

So whatever actions would make you proud of yourself today - start implementing them.  Tell me one - what can you do today to show great love and affection for yourself?

Toxic People?

I have been spending time and energy with people who cause pain in my life.  They are not necessarily "bad" and definitely not malicious...but still....I get de-energized around them.

I didn't know what to do about this.  Some were friends and others close family members.

Not too long ago - I sat and meditated around this issue.  "Should we spend time with people that are toxic to us?"

My first instinct was to analyze the "Why?"  What were they doing that aggravated me so much?  Was there a lesson to learn?  Was there something that I needed healing in?  Why was I interpreting their actions or words and painful?  And I continued spending time with them and inquiring.

But that wasn't my BLiSS.

So I tried a different route.  This time I just kindly and softly removed them from my life.  I asked for some space - let them know that they are loved - but I don't have time to spend with them currently.

Almost immediately....a series of AMAZING, SWEET and LOVING friends and family members returned into my life.  And I met a new friend who is like a Sister that I never had!

This is BLiSS for me.  Being surrounded by wonderful men and women.

I am truly grateful!!!

BLiSS is a choice!!!

There is no journey to happiness.  It is not a pursuit.  There is nothing to get or nowhere to go to find it.  If you want to truly have BLiSS in this moment...........all you have to do is move into a deep state of gratitude for what is.  In a pure state of joy, there is no room for wanting to change or fight with what is.  There is a calm acceptance and appreciation instead.

Don't wait for it - own it - you have it inside of you RIGHT NOW!!!

Loving ALL is Equal to BLiSS!

Being unconditionally loving is the key to total happiness. And unconditional means loving people no matter what their actions and words are!

Being aligned with the flow of life - like the Chakra colors - lead to pure white light - divinity!  

It starts here with me.  I first had to learn to love myself.  And I mean all of me. My good.  My "bad".  My "ugly". It took some time but I learned to forgive my past transgressions and to truly adore every part of myself. The transformation was noticeable in my confidence and happiness level.  I starting waking up being excited about life and grateful for the body that I get to live it in.  

The next step was unconditionally loving my friends.  No matter what they we up to or not up to.  This was harder for me to do and there were many bumps along the way.  I was judging their self destructive behavior and didn't want to be a part of that.  I had learned to love myself and didn't harm my body, wallet and psychological health with damaging actions anymore - and I didn't want to be around people who did! As time passed I did learn to allow my loved ones to be in there own process and learn their own lessons at their pace. If they asked me for help I was there but if they didn't I let them be and loved them anyway!

Next is the neutral person.  Perhaps a stranger or someone at work that you don't like or dislike - they have no baring on your life at all.  This one was easy for me - because I don't feel vulnerable to these people so loving them was natural!!

And now I am working on this one: the difficult person. The one that has or still is doing things that hurt me. Let me be clear - I don't need to spend time with them - but I do want to learn to love them anyway. I have been able to do it with most of them, but I am still working on more.

And my final test will be to LOVE ALL of the world. To have compassion and empathy for every single human being! To see everyone as completely connected and love them like I am able to live myself! A true and deep love for all they are, say and do! Knowing that all is well. That is pure BLiSS!!

How did I release 50 lbs???

It definitely was a process that helped me drop the weight.  But the combination of all listed below - not only did I get back to my original weight, but I also felt happy too.  After all - the eating was an emotional reaction to a bland life.

Take pieces of this, all of this, or add to this - whatever feels right for YOU.  

- Listened to my inner knowing instead of peer pressure, stress decision making, being impulsive, doing what I think I "should" or making fear based decisions.

- Self love forgiving myself for past mistakes.

- At peace with life accepting it the way it currently is.

- Worked towards my goals, I didn't just set intentions, I made an action plan and followed through with it!

- Lived with integrity, no more lying to myself or others - about anything!

- Released relationships that made me feel bad no matter who they were - this was a tough one for me because I had it that I "should" put up with family that were toxic to me.

- Meditated most days, the biggest gift that I have ever given myself.  A chance to recharge my energy AND be in charge of my mind.

- Made decisions from a place of feeling and gut instinct instead of thinking and rationalizing.  

- Found a sport (exercise) that I loved to do so it didn't feel like hard work to move my body and get fresh air.  This also took a lot of failures before I found what I loved.

- Started businesses that used my creativity and left the corporate commercial banking nightmare job.  Money became less important and happiness more.

- Listened to sage teachers that resonated with me.  People like Tolle, Chopra, Buddha and many others.

- Stopped watching TV, or news - this probably made the BIGGEST single difference.  My time is instead spent with loved ones, playing tennis, reading interesting books or relaxing in HEALTHY ways!

- Learned to let go of past hurts - read an amazing book called Radical Forgiveness that taught me that it's actually a GIFT if you look at it the right way.

- Increased my volunteer work - this was a huge one for me, as giving brings happiness.

- Writing a daily journal with a nonjudgmental stream on consciousness so that I noticed what stories were playing in the background.

- List 10 things I am grateful for every day which kept me focused on all of my blessings versus the "Woe is me" trap that I was slipping into!

- and finally I made a commitment to BliSS knowing that I have a choice at any moment to be happy, kind, peaceful, generous and grateful - and choose it!

A Higher State.

It's important to stay out of fear if you want to stay in BLiSS. I used to spend a lot of time worrying about things. Now - sometimes - I can control my mind and stop the worry and sometimes I can't. But I have a strategy.

If I am having any anxieties that I want to stop - I ask myself a series of questions:

1.  Is it really true?  Or am I creating the thought in my own illusion?
2.  It is a useful thought?  Does it help me further my life?
3.  Does it make me feel good thinking that thought?
4.  Are the thoughts kind to myself?  And to others?
5.  Do I want my attention on this subject matter?  What I focus on expands!
6.  Does it serve my commitment to happiness?

And then there are things that DO need my attention that are scary.  When I have worries that I can't stop with wrangling my thoughts - then I have to take action. Here is an example:

I am not very technically inclined. And I used my computer every day, all day long, from home. I rely on my internet access and laptop for my income and communicating with my loved ones too. I store important information on it that needs to be safe and secure too. 

My husband is very savvy in this arena, but do I really want him coming home and having him to deal with my computer issues? No I do not. I would rather spend that time having quality conversations with him!!!  

So - I have a service that protects me.  They keep the spam off. They keep my computers secure. They help when something goes wrong. And most importantly they keep me ONLINE!  They are called - "Higher State Technology". A virtual IT company that saves me worrying about my computers functioning efficiently and effectively.

Ask yourself this:  I am worried.  Can I do something about it?  If no - then stop worrying.  If yes - then DO SOMETHING about it - and then STOP WORRYING.

If you want to stay in BLiSS and are having anguish about any subject matter - take my test and see if there truly is something that you can do about it - if not then LET IT GO!!! Thank your mind for the concern and release it.  Be free.

Zen neutrality.

In an ideal world - I would be able to be present at all times just like Eckhart Tolle. In reality - I haven't mastered the ability to completely flow with "what is". I still see myself disappointed - because I was attached to an expectation or outcome. I can feel fear and anger - things that you are freed of once you reach his level of spirituality.  

What I know for sure is that BLiSS only exists in a place of mystical and peaceful presence. Ecstasy can only be accessed in the here and now. True sustained happiness can only be achieved with a grateful love affair with what already is.

As soon as judgment and what "should be" creep into my life - I can feel hurt and resentful.  

But alas - I am Adeline - and not Eckhart - so it does happen.  As with any practice - I am improving.  I am noticing when I flare up and sometimes I am actually able to return to presence.

But what about "toxic" people - that is not "bad" people - but people that pull me off my path.  Well - I have made a decision:

For now - I will remove them from my life.

I know - this doesn't sound very BLiSSful does it? Just "dump" people because they aren't optimistic and elevating? Well - I have given this a great deal of thought - and, yes, for me at this time - this is the course that resonates. It's not that I don't love them. They are fine people. But right now - I just don't have the tools and strength in the BLiSS department to handle their way of being.

Here is the best analogy I can come up with: in 2006 I quit smoking - cold turkey. It was a difficult thing to do but I was committed to it. Unfortunately - at that time I had a lot of friends that smoked and I wasn't yet strong enough to be able to spend time with them. I had to put space between myself and smokers to give myself a chance to overcome my pack a day habit. And so it was - it took a year - but I no longer missed my dear  ciggies (Marlborough Lights) - and I never smoked again.

It's okay to need a break from people that are not aligned with you path. They will be freed to find people vibrating at their level who will have much more compassion for them.

As I write this - I know that I don't have patience for people who enjoy unhappiness. I can't be around complainers or ungrateful people. I don't want to spend even a moment with people who's primary emotion is fear of the future or bitterness for the past.

Right now - I am going to take care of myself and surround myself with people working on choosing love, humility, gratitude, optimism, laughter, peace, equanimity and BLiSS as their primary experiences.

And those that don't want to be happy - bye bye (at least for now).

Crown yourself.

There are so many Gurus out there.  You can find "experts" on "how to do" just about anything.  And it's definitely okay to get information - but don't let anyone else "rule" your life - other than you.

You are the King or Queen of your happiness.  Take responsibility for it.  Only you can truly decipher which decisions are the course to take. 

Consider that there is no true "right" or "wrong" decision - so just pick the path that resonates with your soul and embrace the lessons that follow. And know that other than death - there are no permanent events - so your mind can be changed.

BLiSS exists when your inner desires and passions are aligned with your external actions.  It is important however to not be attached to the results and outcomes of your actions.  Just to live in a way that you are truly enjoying your journey.

As always - I like to use a current example of my life.  Today I am at the local DMV office to change my legal name to "Cook" my married name.  I have many choices in how I behave here.  I could cross my arms over my chest and frown at the 1+ hour wait.  Be annoyed.  Sigh and give dirty looks to the employees.  Allow my mind to say, "See how terrible the government is!!!"  Or - instead - I could marvel at all of the people's different clothing choices.  Feel grateful that I have a car.  Offer my neighbor a sweetie.  Practice patience and being in flow with life.  Send loving vibes to the staff.  And smile at the cute puppy.

You see - I will be here for over an hour either way - but HOW I choose to spend my time here is all up to me.

And - I - Queen Adeline (now Cook) am the ultimate ruler of my own thoughts and actions - choose to smile, be peaceful, be kind, be generous, be present and be BLiSS.

Pleased or annoyed it's my choice.

This is a I live in Los Angeles - a place with loads of traffic - however I don't experience it that way.  My apartment is directly across the street from Whole Foods grocery store and very close to shops and restaurants - I rarely drive my car.

One day last week - I was going to drive to downtown to buy some gems for my jewelry clients and I decided to call Uber.

This is a very useful car service that arrives within 3 minutes and charges way less than a taxi.  Parking is very expensive in downtown - so being driven makes financial and convenient sense.

I had always had great luck with the drivers.  In fact - I have a new great friend that came from taking an Uber.

But on this day the lady driving was completely silent.  She was almost rude!  I made one stop and then we were off to downtown.  I was beginning to contemplate the dilemma of how many stars I was going to rate this woman with after the drive was over?  

She seemed very frustrated and angry.  I was not enjoying this ride.

And in that moment - I decided to be BLiSS even though I wasn't "feeling" happy.  I chose to be positive and generous instead of scouling back.

I had some CHOCbite in my purse (my chocolate company) so I said, "Excuse me - would you like a piece of chocolate?  I have dark, milk or white!"

She look back at me and grabbed her face with her hand and said, "Oh no thank you - I have really bad tooth ache!"

Wow - there I was getting aggravated by the drivers lack of "kindness" or "attention" when she was sitting there in grave pain trying to earn a living.

My heart opened up with compassion for this woman.  And I gave her 5 stars.

Leading A Life of BLiSS.

An attitude of gratitude is very important.  Being thankful for what is here and now needs presence and open heartedness.  Tomorrow I am turning 42 years old.  Here are some things that I am VERY thankful for:

1.  I have incredible friends and family members.  I am loved beyond belief.  These people are kind, generous, compassionate, thoughtful, grateful, smart, contributive, peaceful and HAPPY.  

2.  I weigh 145 lbs.  This is a healthy feeling weight for my 5'6" frame.  I have tons of energy.  I feel and look SEXY.

3.  I live in America.  Southern California.  Beverly Hills.  The weather is perfect every day.  People on the street smile at each other.  It's beautiful.  I walk to the grocery store (Whole Foods).  It's luxury.  Truly heaven on Earth (for me).

4.  I am married to the most unconditionally loving, intelligent and funny person that I have ever met.  He is beautiful inside and out.  And we have so much fun.  And there is so much love between us.  My heart is overflowing.

5.  We have NO DEBT.  No car debt.  No credit card debt.  No mortgage (because we rent).  No student loans.  It's AWESOME.

And perhaps someone might look at these and say, "Well - of course you are happy - I would be too if I had YOUR life!!!"

But this life is of MY CREATION.  Look at my life just 5 years ago:

1.  My friends were mostly people who drank a lot or did drugs.  Or shopped constantly.  Or watched TV all the time.  Or were highly reactive to small situations.  Or were very unforgiving.  Or were very ungrateful for their blessings.  They weren't LIVING - they were just surviving.  And the family members that I was choosing to spend time with were the problem ones too.  They caused great pain - as it was tough for me to see their cheating and destructive ways.  They had a huge lack of awareness and kindness.  

2.  My weight was 195 lbs.  A full 50 lbs heavier than I am now.  

3.  I was living in Austin, Texas - far away from my wonderful Aunt, Uncle, cousins and Grandma.  The weather was either too hot or too cold for me.  And the BUGS ugh!  It just wasn't "home" for me.  Yeah - it's much cheaper to live there for sure - but for me - I would rather have a MUCH smaller quality luxurious pad than a huge rubbish one miles away from a grocery store.

4.  I was married to a man who decided to start partying hard  - after I had two ectopic pregnancies (the second one on Valentines Day 2010 rendering me unable to have babies) and lost my big corporate job.  After meeting some more "fun" people at a pub in Austin at the Holland (he's Dutch) vs Brazil football game - he started going clubbing until late hours coming home wasted at 4am.  He left me in August of that year (right after getting his American passport sponsored through me) and started dating the young Brazilian fun girl.

5.  My (ex) husband and I had TONS of debt.  Houses.  Credit Cards.  Cars (he needed to change cars often for some reason - and don't get me started about buying new tires every three or four months)!!.  And even though I didn't have a job (and he didn't earn enough to pay the mortgage and bills) - he was still going out and spending money on drinks and dinners out.  Flying home business class to visit his Mum.  It was awful.  He left me in that big house to pay the mortgage on unemployment!!!  He even sent me bills for some programming he did for my web site.  

Yup.  This was all just 5 years ago.  

So - my life now is through a deep commitment to BLiSS.  I learned to meditate to clear my head.  With my new awareness I made more conscious decisions around who I spend my time with, what I eat, how I spend (no more impulse spending), how I treat my husband and what my life looks like.  I make my bed every morning.  I cook every day.  I write letters and thank you cards to people.  I tithe with my money and my time.  I learn and grow.  I feed my soul spiritually.  I apologise to myself or others when I screw up.  I get back on my happiness plan almost immediately.

Whatever happiness looks like to you - go for it.  Start putting your goals together, take action towards them and you will achieve them.  But make your goals heart centred, not frivolous.  And make sure that they are YOUR goals and not those of your peers, family or a designers marketing department.  

www.BLiSSbyAdeline.com 

Focus on what you want - not what you don't.

I can't remember who said it first, but for years now we have been hearing about the opinion that what you focus on expands.  I didn't really understand it when I first heard it.  In fact, it's safe to say that I completely dismissed it as absolute rubbish.  

Let's use an example from the tennis court (a place that I learn a lot of my life lessons).  If you are playing with a partner that SUCKS - then how can what I focus on change that?  Um....it most certainly does!!!  

I am in the process of writing a book called,  "I ❤️ MY DOUBLES PARTNER!!!”, an inspirational book where I name 73 partners that I have played with over the past 5 years.  It is an inspirational book for sure.  What I realised is that I often WON TENNIS matches with these people because of the appreciation that I had for their game.  My ability to FOCUS ON THEIR QUALITIES actually positively affected their game!!!  Yes - it's true.  

And it's the same the other way around too - when I play with a partner that THINKS I AM AWESOME - we rarely lose.  But as soon as I see the frustration or disappointment in my partner's body language - I freeze up - I can't hit a ball in the court.  Nothing even has to be said - it is blatantly obvious when I am playing with someone that respects my game versus someone that is trying to "fix" me.  In fact - the best way to make me play better is to LOVE the way I play!  Positively reinforce my good shots.  Notice my efforts.  Know that I too am trying to win!!!

It's also the same in all other areas of life too.  From your career to your love life - if you direct your attention to the good (at work or with your spouse for instance) then you will be happier and kinder which in turn will turn into success and BLiSS.

So if you hear your mental chatter being negative, or if you find yourself gossiping, take control of yourself - and return to LOVE.  It is the only place to have a pleasurable and peaceful existence.

Namaste.

Kind Thoughts Are Imperative To BLiSS

When I was much younger - in my teens - I would get upset with someone that hurt me, and I would "pay them back" by punishing them.

In my twenties I learned that reacting was not the appropriate way to handle these bad thoughts.  That hurting people ended up actually destroying my happiness so I didn't act out on my disappointments.

In my early thirties though - I still was not happy.  I wasn't misbehaving but the disconnects from my thoughts and actions were not great for my state of mind.  I wasn't being authentic.

But what was I to do?  I need to protect my psyche but running around town shouting at people was not an option.  And then - it hit me - I could actually CHANGE MY MIND!!!

I didn't have to get mad.  I didn't have to be disappointed.   I didn't have to judge. I didn't have to be unkind.

I am the writer, director and producer of my own thoughts.  So I could think kind, peaceful and compassionate thoughts and then align my actions with THOSe thoughts - authentically!

Phew - life has been much better since this revelation.  

(White Gold Ananda BLiSS by Adeline Hand Jewel with Black Diamond)

BLiSS tip:  next time you get mad at a car pulling out in front of you - giggle and forgive them immediately!!!

Your Divinity Is Inside!!!

There were years of my life that I spent chasing happiness.  Looking for love in all the wrong places (people that had none to give).  Shopping to fill a hole.  Drinking to avoid thinking.  Numbing with non stop television watching.  Constantly changing cars, homes and jobs to keep myself so busy that I didn't have to analyze or be accountable for my choices, actions and behaviors.  Time went very quickly.  I was always "reacting" to circumstances.  I often played the blame game - telling anyone that would listen of my unstable and abusive childhood.  It was a whirlwind of rushing and missing out on the true essence of living.

In my 39th year on this planet, I had been divorced for 4 years, I was broke, I didn't have a job and my hopes of having a natural family were shattered when I had two ectopic pregnancies while married which led to my inability to be pregnancy again. Yes - I was BLiSSfully happy!  Ecstatic to be alive.  Healthy.  Breathing.  Lovable.  Living in America.  

Bizarrely at this time I started tasting food more intensely.  My eyes saw colors more brightly.  My heart overflowed with love for my family, my friends AND people who had wronged or hurt me in the past. I was able to beyond forgiveness to DEEP GRATITUDE for all that had preceded.  It was amazing!

And now - 3 years later - I am still mostly there.  I do have moments when I don't feel peaceful - but they are further and further apart.

In this new state I attracted my true soul mate.  The real love of my life.  A man that was whole and complete before he met me.  A compassionate, generous, loving and kind spiritual man.

And so it is.  BLiSS attracts BLiSS.

I highly recommend meditation, good eating, volunteering, gratitude and most of all CHOOSING to look for the good in all things, people and places!

When you have the right tools!!!

I used to watch cooking programs and emulate them in every way.  Except the chopping.  For some reason - even though I wanted to use my knives like a professional - I could never do it.  There rocking motion just didn't work for me!

Now - years later - I realize what the issue was.  I didn't have the "correct tools"!!!!  My knives where ineffective - so no matter how much I tired to use my wrist motion correctly - it would never work.

Life is the same.  I see my friends and family members in great emotional pain.  And I used to try to help them (unsolicited) - because I so clearly could see the answer to their problems.  Their "relief".  But as I imparted this uninvited knowledge - the reactions were perplexing.  Either they would say, "yeah I already know that", or they just didn't "get it".

Why would people stay in pain when they have been given the answer???  Because they are not ready for the lesson.  

Now - I stay out of people's business unless they specifically ask me (and therefore they are ready to crawl out of the well).  

After all - it's not about the finish line - it's all about the journey.

Rule your own happiness.

When you wake up in the morning - notice your thoughts.  How are you feeling?  Does your mind flow to gratitude or look for pain and fear?

Meditating daily and giving gratitude too can be very good habits for retraining your mind to think and be positive.

Happiness, peace, love and inside out BLiSS are available in this very moment - no matter what is going on.

What are you going to choose?

In the here and now is where BLiSS lies.

In my twenties I just lived.  I didn't question the "meaning of life".  I didn't think about consequences.  I didn't really choose my actions.  I just did whatever I did without much thought to it at all.  I didn't look ahead.  I didn't look back.  It was almost like a force outside of myself was dictating every experience.  I was in such a sense of survival that I didn't stop or even pause for a moment to see where I was at or where I was going.  I wasn't waiting for an experience or working towards a goal, I just ran, as fast as I could, in whatever direction life took me at that moment.  I don't even remember stopping and taking a deep breath!  I was practicing DOING.

And then came my thirties.  The ten years of "why?".  The decade of rationalization.  I spent my time analyzing the purpose of rules, peoples choices, my past, my future and many other things.  I took personal development courses, read books about relationships and psychology.  I studied various religions and looked at the origins of traditions.  It was almost a daily mission to find answers.  What foods were good and bad for me and why?  What should I do for my career?  What was the meaning of life?  And what was my "life's purpose?"  I did spend many hours meditating, contemplating, analyzing and "giving back".  I did Holographic re-patterning.  I went to a professional life coach.  I was practicing KNOWING.

And now - I am at the beginning of my forties.  A new decade.  I notice myself becoming more and more present.  Feeling a state of BLiSS is my duty.  And that it's only available right here and right now.  And now.  And now. That life is only pleasurable in the current moment and through my senses. That I can actually choose peace.  That I am able and willing to quiet the mind noise. That my ultimate joy can only be truly felt at this moment.  And the current moment can only be experienced with deep breath and gratitude for it.  The appreciation of this present time is access to return to it.  I am practicing BEING.

My BLiSS by Adeline jewels serve as a reminder for me to return to the present when my head wanders off.  There is no reason to listen to any stories that my mind is telling me - the finest drama is happening right in the here and now. My happiest moments are when I stay balanced, neutral and HERE - that is when I feel great peace and unified love.

Be fully present. Be peaceful Be BLISS!!

It would be very difficult to cook a great meal without being able to be completely present and able to use your senses fully.  Being able to smell, taste, see, feel and hear are an integral part of cooking.  And even with those engaged - you can still make a mediocre meal!!!

It's the same with life - in order to live a rich and wonderful life - we need to continuously be present, peaceful and grateful for what currently is.  And to direct our senses to notice the good. 

Use our eyes to see kindness, beauty and nature. 

Our touch to feel silk, furry animals and soft skin.

Our ears to hear beautiful music, the waves of the ocean or the sound of a bird.

Our taste to enjoy sweet chocolate, a tart fruit or a salty snack.

Our nose to inhale a lovely rose, delicious cologne or a home cooked meal.

And when we are fully aware, awake and conscious, we can use our sixth sense - intuition - the most wonderful of all.

For me - BLISS only exists when I can be intently present and in my body (my senses) - and not in my mind.  That is where pure pleasure and happiness can be accessed and enjoyed.

So it's important to eliminate that which no longer serves your highest blissfulness.  For we can only serve the world when we are filled up with love first!

I wear my "Ananda: BLISS" hand jewels to remind me of staying right here and experiencing life in all of it's beauty with love!!!

www.BLISSbyAdeline.com

Changes in Perception Change Your Experience

Bliss is a choice.  And to quote Deepak Chopra, "it's your birthright!"

My happiness levels have not dramtically increased as a result in a change in circumstance.  In fact - my financial and physical status has pretty much been the same for the past 5 years.  The only difference is my personal interpretation of circumstances in my life.

I will use this example:

A couple of days ago I went to the movies with my Grandmother and her caregiver.  We had a lovely time.  When I dropped them off at their condo, I was snacking on some nuts in the car.  My Grandma said, "be careful that you don't choke on those - make sure to chew well and drink some water so they go down smoothly!"

I laughed and replied, "Okay Grandma - I will be careful!"

Not too long ago I would have gotten defensive and even a little angry.  I would never had said anything rude - but inside my head there would have been thoughts like:

- why is she telling me what to do?

- I have been taking care of myself my entire adult life!

- does she think that I am stupid? 

And even though I would not have shared these negative thoughts - they were still running rampant in my head.

Ananda (Bliss) is a state of BEING and is available right now.  Consciously noticing these distructive thoughts and changing their course to positive, kind and helpful ones is the first step.

I highly recommend a daily meditation practice as a first step to listening to your thoughts and practicing your power over them.  Like a muscle that builds over time - the silence provides a safe haven to go inward and take the reins of your perceptions.

Each event can be translated in multiple ways - learn to always choose BLiSS!! 

Acts and thoughts of compassion and kindness = BLiSS

Being generous and loving is a choice we get to make at any moment.  Whether it's with ourselves or with others - being forgiving and sweet can be the difference between living a bitter or blissful existence.  

And the beauty is that we get to re-choose over and over again.  It really doesn't matter what I did a decade ago.  Or a year ago.  Or yesterday.  There is a place for making amends but IN THIS MOMENT we can decide to be kind to ourselves and others.  

The more we practice open, loving, and heart felt sweetness, the happier we become and the nicer we are.  It is a cycle of goodness and a path we should all pay attention to stay on.  It is contagious too!!!  You will notice that the more love you give, the more your community around you gets uplifted, happy and loving!

We are responsible for listening and trusting our intuition and having deep compassion for any "mistakes" that may have occurred.  Life is about growth and learning which requires overcoming challenges and noticing reactions to them.  This is how we know that we may choose differently next time. There is no place for regret, resentment or anger, for each "bad" event was actually a GIFT.  That's right - you get to choose how you interpret what happened, and I choose to look at what the positive outcome was.  

As an example, I play tennis, and although I don't like losing matches, I use that losing game as an example of how to win the next time!

(My partner Lisa and I winning a tournament)

Also - filling your life with positive thoughts and actions can be a useful way to push out the negative ones.  

Here are a few of my daily BLiSS thoughts:

I am happy

I am loved

I am kind

I am generous

I am tenacious

I am loving

I am lucky

I am connected

I am safe

I am successful 

I am healthy

Here are a few of my BLiSS actions:

Be with people who inspire you to be happy and kind.  

Give back to the world with your genius. 

Have daily quiet time to listen to your thoughts and appreciate your breath.  

Do something you love every day.  

Enjoy every bite of food that you take. 

Take time to smell a flower and to touch a soft fabric.  

Smile broadly at a stranger.  

Listen to a song that you love.  

Read a book.  Take a walk and enjoy nature.  

Visit an elderly person.  

Pet an animal.  

Kiss a child.  

Call an old friend.  

Buy a gift for an acquaintance.

Send a handwritten letter.  

Hold hands with a loved one.

Buy yourself a treat from your childhood. 

Use your best dishes.  

Cook dinner for friends.  

Sit by the ocean and listen.  

Have a massage.

Design a piece of jewelry.

Eat a bite of chocolate.

The point is - will you CHOOSE BLiSS today?

BLISS by Adeline

My jewelry company is little to do with luxury gems.  It is a commitment to presence, alignment and happiness.  Because being in a state of BLISS is a choice, a decision, a way of life.  We have all heard of the 7 deadly sins:

Wrath
Greed
Sloth
Pride
Lust
Envy
Gluttony

The reason that they are "deadly" is because they ROB YOU OF JOY.  The way to stay truly happy from the inside out is to instead be:

Loving
Generous
Compassionate
Forgiving
Grateful
Kind
Empathetic
Humble

It is not that hard to do.  Instead of listening to the damaging negative thoughts inside our head, we can instead replace them with empowering and optimistic views.  We get to choose the filters that we use to hear, see and feel with.  No one can force us to get upset at the weather, traffic, politics or other life events. And there is truly no use for us to be fearful or angry.  

I wear my "Ananda" (means BLISS in Sanskrit) piece on my hand as a daily reminder to choose BLISS.  I am human and get moments of disappointment of hurt - but I take charge of my thoughts, and don't let them rule me, and quickly redirect them to a sense of deep connection and gratefulness for all that I have and all that is.  After all, if I have breath, then I am alive, and that in of itself is an amazing thing.

Make sure to choose BLISS for yourself too - it is the finest way to live!

www.BLISSbyAdeline.com

It's never too late to make amends.

A long long time ago (like 25 years) - I got angry with my Grandmother.  I was reacting to a situation and raised my voice.  It wasn't awful but it wasn't nice either.  Something recently reminded me of this and I realized that I wanted to "clean it up".  

Making amends is not really an easy thing to do - there are some possible negative consequences that I had thought of in this situation:

1.  Maybe she doesn't even remember?
2.  Perhaps it didn't really bother her?
3.  Was I justified?

But the truth is that the admission is really a clearing FOR ME - and not my Grandmother.  I did something that I determined was not good behavior and I wanted to admit and apologize for it FOR MYSELF.  I was not attached to her thanking me.  

So - I did it - and she just laughed.  It felt GREAT.  There is nothing that will bring two people closer than AUTHENTIC VULNERABILITY WITHOUT ATTACHMENT!

And then we just continued eating, with my hand next to hers.

BLiSS by Adeline.

Just add some BLISS

Why not turn the mundane into an exciting and fun experience?

Take brushing your teeth for example.  We ought to do it 2+ times a day so let's make it FUN!!!

- Use a cool electric toothbrush!

- Play music while doing it!

- Use delicious toothpaste!

- Wink at yourself in the mirror!

- Dance around!

Choose to be BLISS every moment!

Daily Meditation

I attempt to have a consistence practice of daily meditation for twenty minutes or more.  This short time allows me to find my breath and tame my mind - I even have moments of complete stillness which are incredible.

Sometimes I am in complete silence, and others I have a guided meditation session.  One of my favourites for the guided one is Depak Chopra who has been in amazing inspiration in my life to look for happiness.  He uses meditations with the ancient language of Sanskrit which looks and sounds beautiful.

One of his teachings is:

Saat - Chit - Ananda

Existence - Consciousness - Bliss

Here is what I derived from this:

Existence/Saat - we are living, just surviving, from our first breath or perhaps even from fertilisation, we are here, on Earth, in a body.

Consciousness/Chit - for me this means being completely soul centred and having a mastery over the mind.  Having awareness of thoughts, noticing but allowing them to pass.  Being connected to the deeper ONE.

BLISS/ANANDA - aka nirvana, ecstasy, paradise, blessedness or heaven.  This is a state of complete being and joy.  Where you move with the universe in a synchronistic way.  Where love and peace flow through you freely at all times.

I have created my BLISS/ANANDA pieces to have a daily reminder in front of my eyes of completeness and wholeness.  Namaste!

2015 Practice

This year I am not going to state annual goals.  I am setting a "context" for the year - a filter to live my life through.  A set of suggestions to lean into as a daily practice.

2015

1.  I will take 100% RESPONSIBILITY for my journey and happiness.
(I will not look to others' journey and compare or be needy with my loved ones)

2.  I will move WITH the flow of life.
(I will not fight "what is" or be attached to my desired outcomes)

3.  I will be SWEET and COMPASSIONATE to myself and others.
(I will immediately forgive for transgressions and imperfections)

4.  I will be quiet unless I can IMPROVE upon the silence.
(I will not pick on people, judge their choices or gossip negatively)

5.  I will allow LOVE in all forms.
(I will not control the way people show their affection towards me)

6.  I will look for the GIFT in all situations.
(I will not be angry or disappointed by events)

7.  I will GIVE GENEROUSLY of my time, love, knowledge, wisdom and creative talents.
(I will not keep my journey to myself)

As I share my experiences authentically and vulnerably - i connect deeply to the earth and all living creatures on it.  That is my goal in my life - to BE ONE with ALL.

Don't worry....be happy!

We have a finite ability for a context for our viewpoint.  We can't see many things at the same time.  So with this knowledge and with the realisation that I can direct my vision and input, I know that if I am feeling down it is because I have focused my lens on the unfortunate versus the fortunate.

Life will happen.  "Bad" stuff comes our way - and I am not suggesting to avoid it - just to recover quickly by refocusing on the beautiful.  The only time focus needs to be on the negative is when actionable change is necessary.

An example would be, "I am overweight so I need to focus on eating healthier for my body."  Or "I have a cold so I need to take Vitamin C."  Or, "I need to get out of this toxic relationship."

But in general, we need to keep our attention on the wonderful! Because whatever you focus on expands!

As an example, when you awaken in the morning, you can choose to focus on your aches and pains, or the deep beautiful breath that you are able to take.  Feeling grateful for breath is an easily accessible happy moment that anyone of us can take at any moment - wherever we are! Most of us don't even appreciate our breath even though it is the biggest gift that we have: Being alive.  

Pleasure does take place in the thinking or brain part of the body.  It is in the body through the senses.  Even when you have a pleasing thought, it is the body sensation that brings that thought to remembered physical memory.

So if you want to feel happy and turned on to life, the first step is with quieting your mind or directing it to positive thinking so that you can divert the attention of your senses.  To me, being able to be completely present in the moment, that is where spirituality lies.  So, being in your body instead of in the past or future which would be in your mind is the way to pure BLISS.

Here is a quick and easy exercise to be present.  If you are feeling fearful, resentful, envious, anger or any other negative feeling, pick one of your five senses and do something of pleasure for it.

Sight

Sound

Taste

Touch

Smell 

As I think of the religious schools I went to, I realise that many of the traditions where to help you get present.  Beautiful stained glass windows.  Songs.  The bread and the wine.  Holding hands.  Burning of incense.  It doesn't surprise me that these ancient traditions were put into place to help us.  However in this ever busier world, with text, e-mail and appointments to distract us from being in the moment, it is most important to consciously bring ourselves back to our body!

Accepting Love....As It Comes

I have many close and wonderful friends now.  But I remember a time when that wasn't the case.  Years ago I did not trust people.  Because they did not behave the way I do, I thought that there may be something wrong with them.  In my mind, my own behaviour, thoughts and words were the only way.  They were 100% correct and no one could have convinced me otherwise.  It was a very lonely time for me.

Over the last decade I have begun to allow love to flow to me the way that it wants too.  Instead of trying to teach all my family and friends my "Love Language" and learn theirs, which was exhausting, I have noticed and accepted love as it comes.

Just in my inner circle of girl friends, I have many different forms of love:

- by feeding me with homemade food
- by buying thoughtful and expensive gifts
- by writing incredible letters to me
- by calling me nearly daily to make sure I am well
- by arranging outings with me
- by walking arm in arm 

And then there are the not so popular ways of loving:

- by warning me if in their mind I am making a terrible mistake in dating
- by telling me possible problems in my business
- by re-arranging my furniture for better karma
- by letting me know that I need to lose some weight
- by illuminating a "blind spot"
- by reminding me of past transgressions

But now, instead of getting irate that I am being told what to do (which triggers a "don't you think I am smart enough to know what I am doing" response in me) - I actually listen with an OPEN HEART and notice how much courage and care it took for someone to voice their opinion and concern even though it may fall on deft ears or worse still that they could be punished for their "judgement".

It's 2015 and I don't want to chastise anyone for however they choose to love me.  We are all doing the BEST that we can, in our own way.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!